The Truth about Men and Dogs

July 26, 2006

I visited friends in Waterford last weekend and when I finally arrived at the house, exhausted and hungry, I saw two dogs “at it”. I was like Jaisus… The act itself lasted like 30 seconds and off they went. No snuggling, no spooning, no kiss goodbye. Emotionally detached. I found this amazing, though a bit sad at the same time. I thought about a conversation I had with a friend a few months ago. Us girls mostly have to be emotionally involved in some form to be ready for sex whereas men mostly don’t - like that dog there. Now lads, I don’t mean you are all dogs or that this goes for EVERY guy okay… but I was surprised in a a way. Is it better to leave feelings out for as long as possible? Because in fairness I personally can’t take heartache very well. I get so loved up only beeing in a relationship that I take a lot of shit before I actually realise that it’s not working and wasn’t meant to be in the first place.

I am on a photgraphy website called deviantart and had the most outrageous argument with the ex-boyfriend of a girl I was talking to. My mistake was that I said something casually that I’d better kept to myself. It all started with a love poem a guy on this website wrote. It was so nice that I sticked it up in my journal. This girl then left a comment reading: “If I just were not so fed up about love…”. So I asked her why because I knew she had a boyfriend. She said they weren’t together any longer. Being fed up with love myself at the moment I only said: “Stupid guys, don’t know what they want!” And whooosh - Pandora’s box was wide ajar! All of a sudden “ex-bf” turned up, leaving this comment: “Stupid guys eh? Only that I (the stupid guy) exactly knew what I had. And the stupid guy (me) didn’t end the relationship.” I tried to calm him down, said I meant my stupid guys :D Only he wouldn’t shut up. It should read stupid girls he continued. He said we wouldn’t appreciate what our boyfriends do for us (generalisations kicking in) so I told him that he doesn’t even know me, that - in fairness - none of my ex boyfriends actually ever really did something extraordinary for me (except for playing with my feelings) so I had all right to be pissed off. But then he dropped the bomb to destroy me completely. He said “Maybe you are stupid if you let them play with your feelings.” Even though he said it wasn’t meant in a mean way the damage was done. How DARE he say something like that? He never even met me! The funny thing is though, the longer I thought about it I had to admit that he was right, in a way. If I allow people to run over me then it’s my own fault. If I stay with the guy even though he treats me like shit, there is noone else than myself to blame for it. If guys use me, then I must let them use me. So I thought the moral is that sometimes it’s better to leave your feelings out for a good while and try to stay rational so you don’t get hurt.

When I left Waterford Sunday night I saw those two dogs at the same spot again and they were sniffing each other. I realised I was mistaken. If you want it all in a relationship you have to risk getting hurt. Because sometimes they do have feelings and come back for a little snuggle ;)


Welcome to my crazy thoughts!

July 24, 2006

 Finally I got myself my own blog too. It will be full of randomness, which means you will be able to have an insight into my messed up brain. Also, I will put up a Secret of the Day. Today’s secret for example is:

“I brush my teeth while sitting on the toilet.” - I don’t know, I started doing it one morning when I was hungover, the taste in my mouth was disgusting and the need to go to the toilet too strong so I simply combined it. Yes, very german, very efficient indeed. :) I love photography so once in a while I might put up a picture or two. Today’s picture is very personal, I took it a few weeks ago…. 

 

Everyone is afraid of something - I don’t believe people that say they aren’t. People can be afraid of airplanes. Of being in an elevator. Of being alone. Of being too close to someone. Of letting go. Of making the wrong decision. Of trusting people. Of disappointing someone. Of opening up. Of getting hurt. Of giving your heart into someones hands. Of breaking someones heart. Of losing a person forever. Of dying. Of falling in love. Of falling out of love. Of the truth. Of lies. Of offering help. Of being dependent. Of fading memories. Of not being able to forget. Of taking responsibility. Of failing. No matter what it is, being afraid only makes us human. Makes us who we are. I am afraid most of the time. To overcome those fears is the hardest challenge in life. Me thinks ;)Inspired by the song “Xanax” by Maria Taylor (11:11). Lyrics [link]